Well, I think I'm sort of using your time frame as a journal for myself too.  It's just that some days I need to write things down and just to get it out there.  You know I keep my own written journal but there are some nights that it's just to hard to write in it.  I cry every night.  The sadness in my heart is so immense, it's unbearable.  But one thing I needed to say how you always know I fight for you all the way, is that I got your story put onto America's Most Wanted webpage.  On the left hand side there is a link that says "My Story" and you are now featured there!  I told everyone I could think of I e-mailed eveyone, and put it on your myspace and on my myspace I made a Bulletin about it so everyone would know.  I still wait and wait for something to happen, someone to come forward anything, not understanding and not know why, it eats at me every day.  But I know one thing, for certain, it wasn't intended for you.  I know that's not much, but in a way it is.  It doesn't bring you home to me, but you were a good kid and no one would hurt you, because of you.  You had not reason to die this way, just an evil person or someone out there maybe after Dame, who knows, by why you?  You never hurt anyone, never hurt a fly, the sweetest, kindest kid ever!  I miss you it hurts so much!

Dearest sweetie, today is 7 months since some monster(s) took you away from me.  We all miss you and love you dearly.  I had a dream, I told Matt to be quiet or he would wake you up that you were sleeping on the sofa.  I woke up feeling you here, knowing that you were telling me you were ok.  I pray to Jesus all the time and ask him to watch over you and let you be our guardian angel.  I believe this, I believe you are here with me. Always in my hear and soul sweetie pie.   We'll find them, one day, they will pay for what they did.  You didn't deserve this you had so much to live for, so much.  You were a good kid, I want everyone to know what a great kid you were, how sweet and kind hearted.  How you always were so shy and handsome. With your goofy grin and blue eyes, how you laughed and even when it wasn't funny you got everyone else laughing too.  You were the best, my buddy.  My angel son, always and forever, until the end of time.

Happy Valentine's Day my sweet Baby Cakes.  Here I remember last year being in St. Christopher's Hospital.  We had that bad ice storm.  I remember how much pain you were in with your throat all swollen because your glands became all infected and we didn't know what was wrong and you hurt so bad.  Finally, because you were such an animal lover, they figured out that (yes this is true thing) had Cat Scratch Disease and your glands became abcessed.  So they had to admit you, and do surgery on your neck to drain everything out of it.  You were on morphine and I V antibiotics.  I remember that so well, like it was just yesterday.  But you were such a trooper and I stayed with you the whole time.  I remember you didn't want me to leave when you came back from surgery and you were so out of it I snuck out and my car had like an inch of ice on it and it took me forever to scrap off the ice, just so I could go home and get a shower and changed.   All this during Valentine's week.  Now these memories will stay with me forever because of the whole week itself filled with memories, the time frame, my mom's died on 2/10/85, 23 years already, then Aunt MeMe's birthday 2/12; then your anniversay of those monster's taking you way from me on the 13th; then Valentine's Day on the 14th.  It's a week full of so much, then of course we have your brother's birthday on 2/19!  I miss you more each day, everyone says it gets easier, but I can't feel the pain easing.  I feel that piece of my heart missing.  I don't know how many people who have lost their children and it's been years for them, how they made it as far as they did, without giving up, there are days I want to just give up.  but I know I can't, I have your brothers and my sisters, I know you wouldn't want me to give up either, but you were my buddy, and we did so much together.  My life is such a turmoil now. I sit at home when no one is there and cry, because just last year we had a house full of people, all your friends laughing and having fun, watching TV, going on the computer, playing the Xbox360, or just hanging out and talking.  How I used to complain about it all the time, and now I miss it, I miss the kids, I miss the noise, the mess LOL, I miss you so much, you brought me so much joy and love and laughter into my life and now it's all gone.  But I will cherish each of those memories forever, for eternity.  God Bless my Baby Angel on this bittersweet Valentine's Day.

Today is Timmy's oldest brothers 22 birthday.  Another event missed, so much heartache and pain.  I can't imagine going on years like this, I praise all the moms who have and are still hanging in there and fighting every day.  I just don't know how they do it.  I am trying so hard to get thru this, but you never really do.  The pain never goes away, you just learn how to live with it and fake people out by saying you're ok.  But in your heart you know you're not ok.  I hate going to bed at night, as soon as I close my eyes, I start crying, every single night I close my eyes.  It doesn't matter how tired I am, I can lay there for a long time just crying because I just can't stand the pain anymore.  I just don't understand how this could happen, I just don't know why God would let these monster(s) on the street and get away with it.  Still no word on who or why, but does it matter????  It won't bring my baby back.  I just pray each day to God to help me thru it and be strong for my other boys and that they stay strong and let Timmy be our Guardian Angel and watch over us.   So Timmy, send a birthday message to your brother, whisper in his ear that you love him.

Well here we are again, the number 13, how unlucky it really has turned out to be, especially since they took you from me on a Friday the 13th.  8 months today and it feels like forever.  I miss you so much buddy, my baby angel.  I wish I could hold you one more time, and see your beautiful smile, your face, how much I wish.  We still have no news, there are nights I lay there and wish there was such a thing as a ghost whisperer so you could come to me and tell me who did this.  My baby, you didn't deserve this, you were so kind to everyone.  This person or person(s) are monsters, they belong in hell.  I do believe God will seek vengence, it's the only peace I can get in my heart right now.  Soon it will be St. Paddy's day and I know how much you were so proud to be Irish. You would have celebrated with your friends.  I know you know that two of your good friends got in trouble the other day, and it's not good.  I know if you were here you would have talked them out of it, I know in my heart you would have said don't be stupid dude, what's wrong with you, you dont' want to get into trouble.  But you weren't here to do that, now you have to watch over them from the Good Lord's house and keep an eye on them and keep them safe, take them under your wing and hold on tight, they need you now, especially Billy.  Your BF forever.  He's been always around, checking in on me, got me a big button of your face made along with a tag with your picture on it.  He wanted to help me hand out flyers and stuff when your anniversary comes up.  We're going to raise more funds for you baby, one way or the other we will get those monster(s), one way other the other they will pay, I pray each day they see your face every night before they close their eyes and have nightmares of what they did.  I seek no mercy on them, no, I just wish you were home here with me safe and sound.  I just don't know what to say anymore, but how my heart is in pieces and my life is never going to be the same because you were my life, you were my baby, my youngest, my buddy, my shadow.  Always in my heart, forever until the end of time.  Sweet dreams baby cakes, I love you unconditionally, forever and ever, until eternity.

I can't believe it's been 9 months since my baby was killed.  9 months, the length of time I carried him.  Now he is gone.  It's so hard to bare some days.  I cry all the time still.  The pain in my heart, when I think of him and how much I miss him.  There are still no words on who could have done this, I hope to God they find out soon.  This monster(s) just walking the street, enjoying his life, hugging his mother.  I don't have those big bear hugs anymore, and I miss them, I miss his laugh, his funny ways.  He was a good kid, why would this happen.  I just don't understand how life is anymore.  Just the pain and I'm trying so hard to keep going, for my family.   I was talking about some of the good memories we shared, going to the beach, on the boardwalk and the rides and how you loved going on the go-carts.  How going back to where we were staying, you'd walk the wall the whole way back.  Just laughing and talking and having a good time.  I'll never have those summers back, the laughter, the funny things you did, and most of all I miss those big hugs.  and the I love you mom, you're the best.  How much I miss, it's almost unbearable to think of.  My baby, I love you forever.

Another 13th, another month, now it is 11 months.  And to make it all seem worse, it is a Friday the 13th, just like the day the monster(s) took you from us.  Guess what else happened today, on Friday, 6/13/08, they laid out your headstone.  Yes I drove by there that morning and it wasn't there so I called them and the man said it was on the truck and they'd call me when it was done if it was done as it was scheduled for later in the day.  Well I didn't get a phone call but Wanda swore it would be there. So we went up there and there it was!  Amazing, and how nice it is and Joey put the words from Unconditional Love, he thought it up and I had them engrave that at the bottom.  Plus another strange thing, is the headstone behind yours with the back facing us, has the image of Jesus on it, and this happened on 2 separate pictures.  I know in my heart that was meant to be and for me to know He is looking after you.  How much you are loved my sweet angel.  How much you are missed, forever!  Eternal love lasts forever Timmy and my love for you is eternal.  God is watching and I know you are too, you are our guardian angel and keep us safe.  I know you are here, I feel you with me all the time.  I can hear your voice and feel the strength of your love.  I will never give up Tim, never we will find out who did this. One day justice will be served, and I'll never stop until we meet again.  Always in my heart, forever.  Not a day goes by I don't see your face, your smile, your laughter and how much I miss it.  You are so special to me and no one can ever take that away.  Good night baby cakes, don't stay up late, love ya.

Posted on Wed, Sep 17, 2008

Two NE men charged in July 2007 Tacony murders
By John Loftus; Assistant Editor
A preliminary hearing has been scheduled this week for two men accused of gunning down a Tacony teenager and his friend in July 2007.On Sept. 6, police charged Gerald Drummond, 24, and Robert McDowell, 26, in the July 13, 2007, deaths of 15-year-old Timothy Clark and family friend Damien Holloway, 27.
Drummond and McDowell face murder, conspiracy and weapons charges. They remain in custody.
Timothy Clark's mother, Bette, Monday that she still doesn't know why her son and Holloway were killed and added that police, who doggedly pursued the case, have not told her the motives for the slayings.
"They won't go into any great detail," she said. She said Drummond's sister was Holloway's girlfriend and gave birth to his daughter and that her son knew both Drummond, of the 6800 block of Tulip and McDowell, of the 6400 block of Edmond Street from the neighborhood.
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Police last year had said they believed whoever killed Timothy and Holloway had been waiting for them at 2 a.m. July 13, 2007, as they walked back to the Clark home on the 6800 block of Vandike Street from a Torresdale Avenue convenience store.
Holloway was staying with the Clarks. He had started at lawn-mowing service with Tim's help. The two were returning home after buying snacks for the next work day when they were shot.
The teen, who was shot in the head, was pronounced dead at the scene of the shooting.
Holloway, of the 2000 block of North 11th Street, also was shot in the head.
He was hospitalized and died two days later. But why were they killed? Most urban shooting victims have prior criminal records, but that wasn't true of Clark or Holloway. Were the shootings racially motivated? The two accused men and the Clark family all are white. Holloway was black.
"I don't know," Mrs. Clark said. "My son was killed because he was there. He was a witness and he knew them from the neighborhood."
The Citizens Crime Commission administered a reward offered for information about the murders, but Mrs. Clark repeatedly had said in the last year that no one had come forward.
A spokesman for the commission said Tuesday that he doubted the reward would be collected. Detectives investigating the case, Mrs. Clark said, promised to solve it and he did. "They worked very hard."
There had been rumors about McDowell, she said. And she had witnessed Drummond on a street brawl. "I saw him pick a guy up and throw him to the ground," she said. McDowell and Drummond both have criminal records.
The Homicide Fugitive Squad, S.W.A.T. and U.S. marshals arrested McDowell in his home, police announced. Drummond also was arrested at his residence.
Mrs. Clark said she was glad there have been arrests but felt nervous about the upcoming hearings and trial. "That's why I'm a wreck," she said Monday.
"It's something you'll never get over," she said. "He was my baby."
Contact John Loftus at jloftus@newsgleaner.com

I wrote this poem for Timmy, all my love forever.

For Timmy

My heart is broken, I feel no joy, I ask God why, where is my little boy?

I remember the days gone by and how fast they seem to grow.  Never in a million years did I think I'd see my baby go.

He had the biggest bluest eyes, and a funny crooked grin. Why, God why, did this have to happen to him?

He was only with me fifteen years, my wonderful baby son, when evil took over two men's hearts and brandished a killing gun.

My heart is broken, I feel no joy, I ask God why, where is my little boy?

I see him in my dreams at night, or when I close my eyes, I hear his whisper in my ear, oh mommy please don't cry.

I hope one day I'll feel that joy again when together we will be.  You are my guardian angel now, watching over your brothers and me.

At heavens gate, we will meet again, and hold each other tight my heart will heal and joy I'll feel, when God turns wrong to right.

Love mommy.

We had our preliminary hearing today.  It was God awful.  I pray that God watchs over my guardian angel Timmy and bless him for ever.  If what is said was true, I hope these men suffer terrible consequences and may God put pain and suffering in their disgusting lives forever.

Please see news articles from 2 local papers that covered the story at the trial.

Posted on Thu, Dec. 11, 2008


Two held for trial in double slaying
By Joseph A. Slobodzian

Inquirer Staff Writer

The double slaying of 15-year-old Timothy Clark and family friend Damien Holloway, 27, on July 13, 2007, was among three deaths and six shootings on an extraordinarily violent evening during one of Philadelphia's most deadly summers.
The early-morning execution-style killings in Tacony were particularly puzzling. There was a considerable difference in the victims' ages, and Clark was white and Holloway black.

Yesterday, a Philadelphia judge heard witnesses testify that Holloway was shot to death by Gerald Drummond because of his race and because he'd "disrespected" Drummond's sister, with whom Holloway had a child and a volatile relationship.

"The [racist epithet] got what he deserved," Drummond told her, testified Amy Rudnitskas, who said she had two children with Drummond's older brother.

As for Clark, Rudnitskas, testifying between sobs, said Drummond told her "the little boy" had to die because he was a witness, "a loose end."

"Timmy was a casualty of war," Drummond said, according to Rudnitskas.

The chilling account of the slayings played out yesterday in a tense, emotional three-hour hearing. When it ended, Drummond, 24, and Robert McDowell, 26, were held for trial on murder and conspiracy charges by Municipal Court Judge James M. DeLeon.

"I knew this was racial," said Holloway's father, Eugene Holloway, after the hearing. "I know from what I've heard from them [Drummond and McDowell]."

"How can someone do this because of the color of his skin?" added Bette Clark, Timothy's mother.

Clark described Holloway as a family friend who lived in her house and had asked her son to help in his lawn-cutting business.

With no witnesses to the killings and no murder weapon recovered, Drummond and McDowell were incriminated by four witnesses: friends and relatives who testified the pair told them of the shootings and motives.

Several times Drummond - and two witnesses - had to be warned by DeLeon to stop trying to communicate across the courtroom.

At one point Drummond looked at witness Nicole Penrose and mouthed: "Why are you doing this to me?"

"Why did you do it?" replied Penrose, a childhood friend who said Drummond was "like my brother."

Later, after three warnings by deputy sheriffs, DeLeon threatened to have Drummond and McDowell bound and gagged because they allegedly were turning around, glaring at and trying to intimidate the Clark and Holloway families.

"It was making me feel uncomfortable," said Bette Clark afterward, referring to Drummond. "I just can't understand this. He knew Timmy, he knew our family."

Clark wept when she heard how her son and Holloway were forced to kneel on the sidewalk in the 6900 block of Vandike Street, hands behind their heads, and then each shot once in the head.

Clark spoke warmly of her son and Holloway. Clark said the two went out to the 7-Eleven around the corner to buy snacks for the next day's lawn jobs.

The witnesses presented by Assistant District Attorney Christine Wechsler said Drummond and McDowell were angry that Drummond's sister Andrea had become involved with and had a child with a black man.

At some point earlier in 2007, witnesses testified, Drummond and Holloway got into a fight that Holloway lost. Holloway's brother then took on and beat Drummond.

Witnesses testified that on July 13, 2007, McDowell and Drummond were out on the Tacony streets looking for Holloway. McDowell allegedly brought a revolver.

About 2:20 a.m., witnesses said the pair told them, the two saw Holloway and Clark walking home on Vandike Street, cornered them, and killed them.

Penrose said Drummond told her the September after the murders that McDowell was supposed to have been the shooter but didn't have the nerve to pull the trigger, "so I had to handle it."

In querying the witnesses, defense attorneys Allan J. Sagot and Daniel H. Greene questioned their credibility, eliciting the fact that all were drug users and that several were heavily addicted when the events occurred.

Witness Erica Marrero, who said her sister-in-law is McDowell's fiancee, tried to recant her statement to homicide detectives, contending detectives badgered her over 12 hours into implicating the two men.

Wechsler, however, argued that Marrero also signed every page of the statement and initialed each answer after reading it.

Pair held for trial in slaying
By JULIE SHAW
Philadelphia Daily News

shawj@phillynews.com 215-854-2592

Timothy Clark, 15, and his brother's friend, Damien Holloway, 27, were shot to death execution-style on a Northeast Philly street in July 2007.
They were forced to their knees, with their hands behind their heads, witnesses testified yesterday.

Gerald Drummond then allegedly fired one shot into Holloway's jaw, and one into the back of Clark's head.

Drummond, 24, who is white, didn't like Holloway, who was black and had a baby daughter with Drummond's sister, according to witnesses.

"The n----- got what he deserved," Drummond allegedly said to Nicole Penrose and Amy Rudnitskas, who each testified yesterday at Drummond's and co-defendant Robert McDowell's preliminary hearing.

Clark was shot just because "he was a witness and he [Drummond] couldn't leave any loose ends," Drummond said, according to Penrose.

Rudnitskas similarly testified that Drummond had said, "Timmy was a casualty of war."

Municipal Judge James M. DeLeon yesterday held Drummond and McDowell, 26, who both lived in the Northeast neighborhood, for trial on first-degree murder, conspiracy and weapons offenses in the early-morning shooting on July 13, 2007, on Vandike Street near Longshore Avenue.

Four civilian prosecution witnesses who knew one or both of the defendants testified yesterday, and three were clearly nervous and reluctant.

Under questioning by Assistant District Attorney Christine Wechsler, Penrose and Rudnitskas said they were both in Drummond's house on Knorr Street when Drummond talked about the shooting. Penrose said that she saw Drummond enter a trap door from his living room and go down to his basement to put away a gun. He said that he was going to throw it into the river, she said.

McDowell allegedly was with Drummond when the two of them ran into Holloway and Clark, who were walking from a 7-Eleven store. McDowell, who had the gun, allegedly gave it to Holloway to pull the trigger.

" 'Casper didn't have the balls to pull the trigger,' " Penrose testified that Drummond had said. Casper is one of McDowell's nicknames.

"All I heard was he [McDowell] couldn't do it and Gerald had to do it," Rudnitskas testified.

Penrose further testified that sometime before the shooting, she witnessed a fight between Drummond and Holloway. Holloway believed the fight was over the "color of his skin," she said.

At one point during her testimony, Penrose cried: "I don't want to do this!" as she teared up.

Rudnitskas, who had to be escorted to the courtroom by homicide detectives, entered red-eyed. She was crying loudly when she left the room.

Another witness, Erica Marrero, McDowell's fiancee, frequently smiled at McDowell during her testimony.

"I love him with all my life!" she blurted at one point.

Earlier, Marrero testified that detectives who took a statement from her "fabricated the whole thing." She said that they threatened that she would lose her baby and would not get a city job if she didn't sign the statement.

The statement was not read aloud in court, but was entered into evidence. In it, Marrero allegedly said that her fiance told her that he couldn't do the shooting, and that Drummond shot the victims.

Thomas Zehnder, a friend of Holloway's, testified that he heard Drummond say at a party "how he laid them down and killed" the victims because "he was tired of [Holloway's] s---." Zehnder said that because of the shooting, Drummond considered himself an "OG," or Original Gangster.

During the testimony, Clark's mother, Bette Clark, frequently dropped her head crying, as her sister, Phyllis Asman McBride, also wept. After the hearing, Bette Clark said that yesterday was the first time that she heard that her son, who had just finished his freshman year at Abraham Lincoln High, was killed execution-style.

Holloway, she said, was a friend of her oldest son and was living with them at the time. She couldn't believe that Drummond would kill her youngest son, Timothy, who Drummond knew from the neighborhood.

Holloway's father, Eugene Holloway, said "it wasn't a shocker to me" to hear Drummond refer to his son by the N-word. "Gerald called him that," he said. *

Here it is the 2nd Christmas without you.  You are the first thing I thought of when I opened my eyes, like most every day.  But of course today is different, today is Christmas Eve.  We would have been so happy, getting ready to go either to Aunt Marita's or Aunt Jeanne's for our annual Christmas Eve time together, which now doesn't exist for us anymore.  Who knows why, people change, things happen, but that doesn't even matter anymore.  Everything in life has changed since you are gone.  The happiness that the holidays brought is no longer the same.  I feel pain in my heart, but I also try and think of all the good ones we had.  We had so many didn't we Timmy.  Remember all the bikes, everyone that got stolen LOL, how you'd be up at 6AM waiting to wake someone up so you could go down and open up all those presents.  You would have hung out with your friends, just waiting for tomorrow to come.  I can't tell you how much I miss you, as you already know in heaven.  God knows, everyone knows, everyone who loves you misses you more than anything.  Uncle Jimmy was in an accident last night, he hurt his leg real bad.  You watch over him for me and help him heal and just let him know you are there watching him ok.  I wish if I could have one wish to hold you one more time and tell you I love you and let you know you were my glue, my glue the held my life together and since you've been gone everything seems to be falling apart.  May you shine down from heaven on us each and every day and especially on Christmas knowing you are with Jesus helps my heart somewhat, but I'm selfish and i want you with me.  Fly high my sweet angel son, and remmeber, until we meet again my love for you is undying.

Here it is the 2nd Christmas without you.  You are the first thing I thought of when I opened my eyes, like most every day.  But of course today is different, today is Christmas Eve.  We would have been so happy, getting ready to go either to Aunt Marita's or Aunt Jeanne's for our annual Christmas Eve time together, which now doesn't exist for us anymore.  Who knows why, people change, things happen, but that doesn't even matter anymore.  Everything in life has changed since you are gone.  The happiness that the holidays brought is no longer the same.  I feel pain in my heart, but I also try and think of all the good ones we had.  We had so many didn't we Timmy.  Remember all the bikes, everyone that got stolen LOL, how you'd be up at 6AM waiting to wake someone up so you could go down and open up all those presents.  You would have hung out with your friends, just waiting for tomorrow to come.  I can't tell you how much I miss you, as you already know in heaven.  God knows, everyone knows, everyone who loves you misses you more than anything.  Uncle Jimmy was in an accident last night, he hurt his leg real bad.  You watch over him for me and help him heal and just let him know you are there watching him ok.  I wish if I could have one wish to hold you one more time and tell you I love you and let you know you were my glue, my glue the held my life together and since you've been gone everything seems to be falling apart.  May you shine down from heaven on us each and every day and especially on Christmas knowing you are with Jesus helps my heart somewhat, but I'm selfish and i want you with me.  Fly high my sweet angel son, and remmeber, until we meet again my love for you is undying.

Well I couldn't come here and write anything for your birthday, it was just to hard to do.  You would have been 17 this year, maybe learning how to drive.  I went to visit your gravesite, me, Aunt MeMe, Matt, David, Jimmy, Dana, Eric, Brian, it was so cold out we couldn't even stay, we were shivering and it made me sad that I couldn't spend the time I wanted with you, all the time that was taken and I can't even go there and visit you for your birthday.  I set down balloons and we sprayed confetti all over, you would have loved that!  I left you a candle to stay lit for your birthday and we sang happy birthday to you.  Life will never be the same without you, Timmy I miss you so much it hurts so bad.  Some days I just don't think I'm going to make it without you.  I can't stand the thought of life without you in it.  You are the best and always will be.  The light of my life, my youngest little boy.  You always will be that in my heart and all my memories of you.  I cry every night almost and I talk to you all the time.  I just wish I could hear your voice, just hold you tight and tell you how much I love you.  I hope you know this and feel my love to you in heaven.  God watch over you always and you are my guardian angel.  Forever and ever baby cakes.  HAPPY BIRTHDAY SWEET HEART.  HAPPY NEW YEAR'S TOO.  Even though I couldn't write, you were not once out of my mind or heart this whole time and never are. 

Well your 2nd angelversary is almost here.  I'm having such a hard time.  4th of July is this weekend.  It's not the same without you and never will be.  I'm so glad the site is back up and running.  I missed coming here, but there are also days that I cannot come.  It hurts to bad.  We also have another hearing scheduled for July 7th.  So we have 4th of July, hearing on the 7th and the 2 year angelversary on the 13th.  No wonder I can't sleep.  I love you always and forever my sweet baby cakes.  God will see this through, you are always in my heart and soul, never a day goes by without you in my thoughts all the time.